Chop mushrooms and onion and cook on the stove-top till cooked through and onions begin to caramelize.
Blend nuts and oats in a food processor till thoroughly chopped.
Add cooked mushrooms, onion, liquid smoke, garlic, and Masterpiece and blend (here’s where you’ll need a spoon and occasionally stir the mixture by hand to help the food processor out)
Add beans last and blend till thoroughly mixed (This takes lot of stopping and starting to spoon the sides and mix a little by hand). Salt to taste.
Transfer mixture to the stove top and mash into a large saucepan. Cook on medium-high heat.
Here’s where it gets tedious. At first the mixture will be very sticky and wet. Stay with it. Let the mixture cook on one side, then flip and cook the other side. Then mix it together, smash it down again, and repeat.
Eventually it will become less sticky (aka more dry) and here’s where you can start to “stab” at it with your spatula and make little chunks. Once the mixture hits this point, let it cook for a few more minutes, stabbing and moving your “ground beef” so it doesn’t burn.
Remove from heat and serve over any and everything.